After years of challenges and moments of despair, I felt like a failure. I asked God if I would ever get to the place where I could really be use by Him again. I wondered because the sense of discouragement seemed to clothe me securely.
The Lord responded with a picture of a beautiful pearl necklace in my mind’s eye and spoke gently to my spirit:
“The circumstances you have gone through trouble you. Some circumstances were caused by your stubbornness and others were demonic assignments. Nevertheless, I have been with you through them all. And now, I need you to grasp each of those lessons in a fresh way.
I designed this special necklace especially for you. The pearls represent each situation you overcame by My guidance and power. Just like the oyster suffers pain in growth, you have suffered pain in growth. The oyster covers his pain with something priceless. You have learned to cover your pain with something priceless as well… My Wisdom and Glory. Now I desire to line up those experiences with a knot of grace between each one so they will never pour back into your lap again. As you learn to wear this necklace of love humbly, I will use you greatly. When I lead, share one of your treasured pearls for My glory. This necklace, my child, is the key to your joy-fill-ed witness for the days to come.”
“Thank you Lord. Your words calm my heart,” I said. But then I asked another question, "How will I ever get rid of this guilt and shame?
"When you are ready to put up your shield of faith to quench all the enemy's negative thought-filled reminders of your past and are willing to let go of your obsession with self-condemnation, then you can and will move on. Afterwards, I will be able to grace-fill-ly knot and secure all those pearls together and secure them around your neck with the blood of Jesus.”
I have wasted so much time meditating on ‘what ifs’ or ‘I should have known better’. Life should have been so different. Then I realized the 'shoulds keep the shame alive'. Yet, again I realized even if I had made wiser decisions then, I would have eventually made an error in judgment later.
Wisdom training is a must in God’s kingdom. I can’t avoid trouble forever. God designs my life to be filled with instructional moments from a variety of sources. What I need to remember at all times is this: God’s grace is sufficient.
Having this special pearl necklace reminds me…all is not lost. God intends to use everything I do right or wrong for His glory. When I get off track, God still marks the journey as valuable and that brings me joy.
How about your pearls that came at a great price? Will you allow God to line them up and show you off? God is so proud of you and the way you hung on to Him. You may feel disqualified. Don’t despair! God plans to use all those 'unseemly parts' to minister grace and hope to many.
Go ahead…quench the enemy’s thoughts of failure, pick a pearl and courageously share how God changed your life.