Run...Mary Jane...Run!

In December of 2015, I ended a relationship that was basically built upon lies, not mine but his. When God showed me how all the pieces would fit together, I was shocked at how ugly the picture was going to turn out. And so I walked away…and when I did, I felt like the life of faith and creativity that I had once known was being sucked out of me and in its place, a stronghold of fear. What I wanted so badly had turned into a nightmare, a mental battle for my character, my authority and my peace of mind.

For almost nine months, the enemy of my soul flooded my mind with so much negative criticism that it was hard to combat the depression. I had a hard time reading the Bible and listening to Christian music because I felt condemn not only for what had just happened but then the enemy headed for my past insecurities as well. Now, I know condemnation is not from God (Romans 8:1) but I felt powerless with the heavy on slot of accusations. Just because you know what to do doesn’t make it easy to do it in a time of pressing trouble. I tried speaking and reading the Word out loud. Claiming the promises. However, whatever I did, my ‘believe’ was not there and so my faith was cut short. It looked like life had forever changed and with little hope, I was going downhill fast. However, I felt compelled to keep going forward to fight the good fight of faith with the little hope that I had until I regained my lost mental territory.

During all this time, the Lord was relentlessly faithful to me through the love and faithfulness of family, friends and church. Also, I saw 10 10 everywhere which to me could only mean one thing.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I came that they may have life, and ^[a]have it abundantly

John 10:10

                                               

Then there was the word He gave to me personally as the healing had barely begun.

January 7, 2016

You are my darling wife to be. I had to come rescue you. I love you, appreciate you, and adore you. I did not want you to be swallowed up by your circumstances. Come follow Me back to health, both physically and spiritually. See what I can do in a short period of time. You are not alone neither have I forsaken you. You have wanted to quit but I won’t let you. You are my precious child who I want to help. Yes, you lost your way, but I grabbed you by the hand and rescued you and have put you on solid ground. Seek me Mary Jane. Trust that I will bring you through. I know you are afraid right now and I have my loving arms around you. You are not alone. Follow Me, Mary Jane, follow Me.

With all the affirmations and confirmations, the enemy sought even more desperately to destroy me and my relationship with the Lord.

When my prayers changed from “Oh God, help me!!!” to intensionally praying for others and praying the opposite to whatever the enemy was telling me, my mind slowly began to respond. I knew then that I had broken down a line of the enemy’s defense. God was doing His part. Now I needed to do mine.

Afterwards, I heard the Lord say, “You have got to get out and walk.” As much as I wanted to stay sheltered, I knew I had to listen to His directions. In late October 2016 after walking for about six weeks, I started seeing major release from the enemy’s mind control. I was gaining confidence and courage to resist all the lies. It still was not easy but I was determined.

Since my mind was beginning to clear from the negative thoughts, I started to see my positive creative imagination began to peep out. Oh, how I had longed for my writing to spring forth again.  The Lord was right. Being out in nature was helping me to heal.

Lastly, I felt the Lord say, Running your race will give you endurance,” so that’s what I did. I started running some and then some more. Each week or so I would increase my running a little bit more.  And each and every week I was gaining back my mental strength. In November of 2016, I entered my first 5K at South Mountain Christian Camp. As I crossed the finish line to win 2^nd place in my age group, I knew I was well on my way to being myself again.

 As of today, I have racked up many 5Ks, a couple of 10Ks, with my latest goal of a half marathon coming up in three weeks. My main goal there is to finish within the allotted time. Pretty good for an out of shape 61-year old beginner, don’t you think? Do I love to run now? No, I can’t say that I do but I love where it is taking me and that keeps me joyfully putting one foot in front of the other as fast as a can.

PRASIE BE TO GOD FOR HIS WONDERFUL FAITHFULNESS!

Are you going through a mentally tough time right now? I know it is not easy and sometimes your fears seem like they are going to over take you. But do not lose heart. Jesus is right there with you, holding your hand too. Read the words the Lord gave me again but insert you name instead. He wants to help you overcome whatever it is you are facing. Go to Him the best way you know how. No matter what the situation is, Jesus is waiting for you to let go and let Him help you.

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As I prepared for a recent 5miler race in downtown Columbia, I told the Lord I could not do this without Him. What He answered me with was a vision of me running down the street with a large angel, flying overhead. At the race, as I came around the corner to run the last quarter mile, my earlier vision came to life. The two scenes were exactly the same. I knew without a shadow of doubt that a large angel was flying overhead cheering me on.

Keep Yourselves From Idols

Dear Children,

Keep yourselves from idols.

I John 5:21

Recently, a friend of mine asked me to look at houses with him. We began our search through the Internet to pick out the ones he wanted to see. Afterwards, he called a realtor in the area.

There was one property in particular that got our attention. As we viewed the house, we noticed there were pictures of different gods hanging in several of the rooms. Then when we toured the ground, we discovered two large wooden platforms with concrete idols on them.  As I inquired of the Lord, he told me this was like the idols of old in Isaiah’s time. I knew this form of worship still existed but it was strange to see it in an area so close to me. Needless to say, if my friend chose this property, he would have to make sure all the idols were gone and the land was cleansed.

Most of us in the Christian world cannot really identify with statues and that kind of idol. So let’s go a little closer.

What is an idol? Idols are anything that distracts us from the one true God who is our identity and true source of supply. We are drawn to idols because they can foster our need to be loved and accepted . Then of course, we have them to help us in our time of need. (But do they?)

As I thought about this more, I asked the Lord for a deeper meaning. This is what he gave me.

I     Deny     Our     Lord

access to my life.

What does it mean to deny?

·      to refuse to agree with

·      to withhold possession

·      to refuse to recognize or acknowledge

·      to withhold accessibility

In other words, when we deny the Lord, we are not allowing his influence to reign over a particular area of our life.

Now… most of us can name some of the biggie idols that we could have… our career, pride and ego, materialism, sports figures, TV personalities, children or even grandchildren. However, let’s dig a little different direction. How about…

·      Negative attitudes and criticisms of others, the need to be right

·      Offenses, bitterness, and unforgiveness

·      Worry and guilt

·      What others will think of me

Suddenly, idols may be closer to home then what we would like to admit. Idols are sneaky, if you are not vigilant. You give them an inch and they can take a mile. They start out innocently but slowly dig deep roots into our heart. Idols take away our sense of spiritual reasoning and choice. The thing about idols is, when you get in a pinch and really need the power to overcome, idols have no power to save you from whatever you are going through.

So what is the answer?  The real answer is not an idol at all. It is a personal relationship with Christ Jesus. He is not man made idol but  the true Son of God who has the power and grace to help us through whatever situation we face. If you haven't met Him personally, I encourage you to seek him out. Discovering Jesus's love for you will change your life forever.

The devil comes to kill, steal and destory but I have come to give you life and that more abundantly. 

John 10:10

Melinda's Desire

The old car needed to many repairs! As Melinda prayed about the situation, her mind wandered back to an old Cadillac that had been given to her second hand years before. She smiled as she thought about that light blue beauty being the perfect car. It was a little worn but still roomy and luxurious inside. For her, it wasn’t just something that carried her from place to place but she felt special and set apart. Her meager circumstances seem to melt away as she dreamed of greatness for a time to come. Oh how my heart would sing if I could have that feeling again, she thought. Then, reality began to creep in again. I really need an economy car not a big luxury car; she contemplated with a sigh, a small one that gets good gas mileage. And with those thoughts securely in place, Melinda began her Internet search of the near by dealerships.

After a prayer, Melinda began to look for a car at the three local dealerships; she found it didn’t take long before the car hunt became frustrating.  She looked earnestly and honestly for one economy version after another but there were none she could afford or get excited about…none that made her feel like she wanted to take them home for a long time. Annoyed she began to pray again.

Then…she got a tip.

“Go to Moore’s.” the salesman at the Ford dealership said, “They may have what you want and they’ll make you an honest deal.”

Feeling like the Holy Spirit was leading her, Melinda decided to

try it out. What could she lose and she was running out of options.

As Melinda surveyed the car lot at Moore’s, her eyes seem to gravitate towards a black 2005 Lexus SUV. “I don’t think I can afford that Lord!” she assumed. Nevertheless, she looked inside and a smile came over her face. This car has more luxury then the Cadillac and it was roomy too. I could get excited about taking this car home Lord, she mused.

Was God providing Melinda with something she desired instead of having to settle for the car she thought she needed? Turns out, that is exactly what God was doing as He lead her by faith to negotiate the details over the next few days. For Melinda, this car was God doing something extra special for her, something far beyond what she had imagined he would do for her. She felt abundantly blessed and now continues to praise God for His generosity.

What is your need and deepest desire? Our Heavenly Father is waiting for us to focus on Him as we put those needs and desires into His loving hands. He is a good God and wants to bless us with good gifts. God not only wants to answer our requests but at times go beyond what we have asked for to what He knows we really desire. Go ahead…think big!

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works with us.

Ephesians 3:20

My Sins, Whiter Than Snow Part 2

When Jesus came, everything changed. He put an end to the law and the need for animal sacrifices, not by destroying the law but fulfilling it once and for all. (Matthew 5:17) Judgment and the lingering feelings of condemnation, guilt and shame for sins vanished, if we chose to receive what Jesus has done on the cross.

The law required that the sacrificial lamb be perfect. Then, after the sins of a person were transferred, the animal would be put to death and the blood spread on the altar.

Jesus, being the Son of God, remained a sinless man. Before He was sacrificed on the cross, all of mankind’s sin past, present, and future were transferred to Jesus. Then He died. Unlike the animals of the Old Testament, though, Jesus had the power to rise again from the grave to claim victory over all of mankind’s sins and the death penalty as well once and for all. 

This means, we are free from God’s judgment and we do not have to carry around thoughts of condemnation, guilt, and shame anymore. We carry God’s grace because we have become the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. No sin can ever steal our righteousness away. Now when I sin, I say I’m sorry, I remind myself of God’s promise of grace, I thank Him, and then I ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom to avoid that sinful situation in the future.

God showed me a vision pertaining to this recently. I could see myself standing there with lots of dark spots (sins) all over on me. I tired to get them off but I couldn’t. When I hear the gospel, I saw myself accepting Jesus into my life and every last one of those dark spots immediately fell to the floor. Instantaneously, Jesus gave me a glowing white robe and I saw myself putting it on. Jesus told me it was my robe (gift) of righteousness and it would never come off even when I sinned again. From now on, He would take the responsibility for my sins and reminded me that His grace is sufficient.

Then the scene changed. I sensed I wasn’t ‘feeling so righteous’ anymore because I was still sinning. Guilt and shame permeated my thoughts. I felt like the dark spots should reappear to represent my present sin. I could see myself picking up the pile of dark spots and trying to make them stick by rubbing them back on my robe of righteousness but they slid off and fell to the ground.

  

As I pondered this, I realized that most of my life I did not understand the full significance of all that Jesus had accomplished on the cross for me. I knew in my heart my sins were forgiven but my mind was plagued with thoughts of guilt, shame and never measuring up from the enemy. Unfortunately, my mind (soul-mind, will, and emotions) ruled over what my heart wanted to believe. Fear overwhelmed me at times and I would go through bouts of depression. I felt unrighteous and my relationship with God was affected. I felt I had to “do” more to cleanse the sins I was still committing. Carrying around the guilt and shame was part of my penitence. I was never fully cleansed. Thus, I was never free from condemnation. In my mind, it always kept me at a distance from God.

Then I discovered:

The law is about ‘what I can continually do’ to remain righteous

but accepting Christ is about

‘being in a state of righteousness continually’ forever.

When I am in Christ,

I do not have to do anything more to stay righteous.

He is my righteousness!

What I had failed to comprehend years ago was that the sins I committed from then on did not affect my righteousness or God’s opinion of me. I had always measured up not because of me (my self-righteous activity) but because of Christ (the Cross). I was ‘in Christ’ and he had continually taken care of whatever sins I had. That truth does not make me want to sin more but love more…love the Trinity more. Share Christ with more of those around me. The fear and depression? It gradually melted away the more I meditated on: My sins were really gone forever and God loves me no matter what. Carrying around the guilt and shame as penitence was neither necessary nor desire by God. Now, we are freed to be grace-conscience instead of sin-conscience. When we accept that sacrifice of Jesus into our lives, we become whiter than snow for eternity.

The knowledge that I am truly free from the law of sin and death has turned my sorrow into great joy!

Blessings to each of you in this season of our Savior! 

(Romans 8:1-2, Galatians 5:1, John 8:32, Philippians 3:9, 1Cor. 1: 30) 

My Sins, Whiter Than Snow

I got excited recently when I hear it is going to snow. When I noticed the first flakes falling, I made a mug of tea, pull my over-stuffed chair around so it faced the picture window, and watched until peace filled my soul.

While I was enjoying the beauty of the snow, a verse permeated my thoughts and I knew the Lord desired to speak:

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me,

and I will be whiter than snow.

Psalms 51:7

“I will be whiter than snow” was the phrase He highlighted so I kept rolling that over in my mind. Hummm…snow looks really white, Lord, but there must be something about snow I’m not seeing.

So…I researched how snow is formed and found out an interesting fact. Snowflakes are formed from dust particles in the air. When the temperature of the cloud is below freezing, water vapor collects on those tiny particles of dust/dirt/pollutants and turns into ice. The tiny crystals stick together until they form snowflakes.

In David’s time, atonement for your sins (dust/dirt/pollutants) was a requirement by God to stand right before Him. Sins were transferred to the spotless lamb and then the sin ladened lamb was killed and his blood was drained and placed upon the alter. (Leviticus 17:11) The Jewish people came back yearly for their sins to be completely washed away by this ritual. However, the Jewish people were never completely rid of condemnation, guilt, and shame-consciousness for their wrongdoing and ungodly attitudes. Soon after the cleansing ritual would be completed, sin would again begin to accumulate. Being whiter then snow was only a momentarily blessing.

As I continued to meditate on the scriptures, God showed me the picture of a long wooden table, which I understood represented the entire life of a Jew who went through the yearly cleansing ritual for his sin. Next, I saw a long blood red silky fabric that had been gathered from one end to the middle. As I continued to look, an accumulation of what looked like black dirt (sins) appeared on the table, located just before the silky fabric. Suddenly the fabric moved to cover the dirt then stopped. I could see there were bumps from previous years. Then it moved again over a new accumulated pile of dirt that appeared and then once again. The process was representative of the blood of the lamb covering the yearly sins of a Jew. When the silky blood red cloth covered the full length of the table perfectly, it meant the person’s life would have been over with all sins covered under the blood of the lamb. As long as he kept up the yearly trip to the temple, his sins were covered.

This sacrificial system went on for hundreds of years and it was the only way the Jewish people could be free of God’s judgment in their lives.

Then...when the time was right Jesus came
…and everything changed!!

Part 2 of My Sins-Whiter Than Snow

Next Week