Checking Your Resolve: Part 2

Preparation is only the beginning of a plan. The next step is putting that plan into action. After repacking into Kristen’s car because mine wouldn’t start, off to Raleigh we went. That was a “worry” tactic for weekend from the enemy, I am sure.

We arrived at the tail end of the Friday night session. However, Kristen and I were still able to meet the children. There were five, two boys and three girls, ranging from 5-9. They were enthusiastic about the weekend so we became enthusiastic too. I sensed God’s presence was there with me so I reminded myself to leave the results in His capable hands.

I taught 3 lessons during the day. The first had to do with being fisher’s of men and what that could mean for them. The third one had to do with how special they are to God. Then, I helped them realize God has given each of us a special gift to share, which can help lead others to Jesus. Each of these lessons went well and the children responded to my questions. However, the second lesson evoked questions from them.

In the second lesson, I read the book Heaven Is For Real for kids by Todd and Sonja Burpo about there son's (Colton) experience with heaven. I hadn’t read much, when Zeb, age 8, skeptically asked, “Did he ‘really’ go to heaven?” 

I responded enthusiastically, "Yes he did. Not everybody gets to go to heaven like Colton, but God chooses a few to make the round trip from time to time. God wants us to know that Heaven is a real place and what it is going to be like when we arrive. Knowing about heaven gives us confidence of our future home and helps us share heaven’s reality with others."

As I progressed to the pages with the animals, Sarah, age 5, responded. She calmly came and nestled between the book I was holding up and me. We continued to discuss what animals they wanted to play with when they arrived in heaven. Meanwhile, I noticed Sarah’s little finger on the brown dog in the picture. She still made no comment. As I turned to the next page though she peacefully returned to her seat.

Later, I overheard this conversation.

Adult: I’m so sorry your dog died this week. But I bet he is in heaven right now playing with the dog I lost.

Sarah: Yes, I know that now. We read a book in class today that told me so.

Adult: What was the name of the book?

Sarah: Heaven Is Real

Adult: I am glad you are not sad anymore.

Sarah smiled and skipped off to play.

Was I sent to calm the cries of Sarah's aching heart? Yes among others. Even though I struggled with going, God had a specific purpose in mind for me as His representative. He led my planning so I would have something for each of the kids on their level of understanding.

Monday, I got this email from the mother of Zeb:

I just want to share with you all what an impact the weekend had on my family, especially Zeb. He has been a part of two LWM at our church but this was the first time he has gone with us as team members (Lydia's third). Last night and again this morning when he was praying he thanked God for the weekend and his new friends, asked God to help him keep the 10 commandments and the coolest, he prayed next time he could give his testimony. Mary Jane and Kristen, a huge thank you for all you taught and the time you spent with our precious children!

God gave me victory over all my reluctances when I choose Him over my fears. He allowed me to receive much more affirmation then I ever expected. I did not think I did anything outstanding while I was doing the task but God blessed the time and used it to make me stand out.

Look what I would have missed, if I had been stubborn and said no.

So again I ask you: Have you had times lately where you know God has asked you to serve  in a situation and you allowed your fears to keep you bound to indecisiveness and fear. I want to encourage you again with my results to press through and see God’s affirmation and victory spread out before you. He never expects us to do it alone. He is always right there with us.  We just have to seek Him and then rest knowing His wisdom is on the way.

Part 1 of  Checking Your Resolve

Checking Your Resolve: Part 1

I don’t WANT to do it. I wish I had known earlier the other two ladies were not going to be able to make it. I was supposed to be the helper and not the teacher. This is out of my comfort zone. Lord, what am I going to do?

These where the thoughts I had, as I prepared to teach the K-5 children at a Lay Witness Weekend four hours away. I was in a panic. I desperately wanted to say no, but there wasn’t any real reason I couldn’t. Suddenly, God put me in remembrance of my closing statements on the blog post Becoming Grandma. We have to be willing to teach the children or we deny them Christ. (When you speak or write forth, be prepare to back it up yourself.) Then, I sensed God wanting me to lasso my fear and release my faith into His guiding hand.  He graciously pointed out that I needed to take captive the doubting mindset or I would become powerless. So I prayed for God’s help and direction and then set out to gather what I needed.

I asked a lot questions and got a lot of help from others. However,I finally decided I needed to do what worked best for me. I went through my Christian children’s books and several caught my eye. I was still shaky in my thoughts at times and still wanted a way out (just being honest), but for the most part, I was experiencing victory. I kept refocusing on God’s faithfulness and thanking Him for success. Soon the fruit of perseverance came forth because my creative juices began to flow.

Then it happened! I bent over to pick up a plant and pulled my lower back. It didn’t hurt at first but by nightfall, I could barely move much less stand. As I laid there on an ice pack, I thought, This was the way out I had been hoping for! This could be God. Oh Joy! I’ll just call and cancel.

Before I could get to the phone, there was a caution in my spirit.  ‘The way out’ didn’t seem so right anymore. I felt God testing my resolve and was giving me a distinct choice. Did I want to grow or remain in the protective environment I had so carefully constructed around myself? Was it worth being uncomfortable momentarily for the new level of normal I could achieve? All I could think about was this: If I took the easy way out, my developing reliance on Him would be sabotaged and the enemy would win. I despise the enemy winning at anything so I consciously chose to move forward with God.

I asked for prayer everywhere because I only had 4 days to heal. I stayed on an ice pack, took ibuprofen around the clock, and kept planning my lessons. By Friday, I was much better and felt I could go. God helped me finish my preparations and then He healed my back.

Has God checked your resolve lately? Is there something you need to do that is out of your comfort zone? I want to encourage you to fight the urge to squash the leadings of the Holy Spirit and step out in faith. God loves us no matter what but He desires us to grow and learn more about His Kingdom living. And...the victory dance in the end, well… there’s nothing like it.

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Part 2-Next Week

I Will Be With You

My son, David, was 7 days old when the call from the doctor came with My husband, John’s, final diagnoses. The latest and deepest biopsy confirmed what we had begun to suspect. It was cancer. As I hung up the phone, all I could think or say was, “Don’t let him die on me.” Then I burst into uncontrollable tears. Fortunately, my mother who was visiting and a friend where there with me when the call came.

We had a choice to make. Either stay with the locate doctors or go to a specialist in Houston, TX, which was 7 hours away. We decided on the specialist. David was 15 days old, John, my mother, David and I headed out to MD Anderson Cancer Center to start the fight of our lives.

After long endless waits to see different doctors, get blood work, and the other tests needed, we got the final results.  The doctors told us they did not know whether it was Hodgkins or nonHodgkins’ lymphoma so they would need to treat John for both.

Hodgkins has a 95% cure rate but Hodgkins is 50%. They told us the tumor was wrapping itself around the vena cava, the main artery from the heart to the brain, and if the doctors could not stop its growth, it would pop John’s heart. Since the cancer was quick growing, there was an urgency to start radiation immediately. After the radiation, chemotherapy would begin. Then at the close, we were told we may not be able to have anymore children because of their uncertainty of what the lasting affect of chemotherapy would be.

My husband had his first week of radiation treatments before we left for home. Then he made the other 7 weeks of traveling back and forth to Houston for 5 days of radiation by himself. Then came the chemotherapy after a three-week break for Christmas. The chemo was given every week for a year and a half at our local hospital.

During all of this, I learned to draw from strength deep within me that I didn’t know I had until I needed it. God’s revealed strength helped me to be what my husband and child needed throughout the crisis. I learned how to keep my eyes focused on God so my faith in His sovereignty would not waver very far. I learned faith in His provisions as I watched God meet every one of our needs.

At some point, I final got the courage to ask God the question that loomed over my heart, “Lord, Is John going to die?”

He answered in my heart with this, “No matter what happens, I’ll help you through.”

In other words, I was going to have to trust Him through the whole process no matter what the outcome.

After 5 years of going back and forth to Houston for checkups, John was finally released with a clean bill of health from MD Anderson Cancer Center. We celebrated joyously in the victory with medical staff, family and friends. AND we had been able to have another baby.

Then, ten years later, John started having trouble getting his breathe and tiredness. The doctors found out one of John’s heart valves was defective and he would have to have surgery. We decided to go back to Houston to see a cardiologist and to be near his other doctors. The cardiologist scheduled surgery with the best he knew of in the area.

The night before the surgery, I knelt down beside my motel bed and prayed this prayer, “Whether John comes through the surgery or not is not my call. That is for you and John to decide but you already know what I want. I leave it in Your capable hands.” Believe it or not I slept soundly until the alarm rang.

The surgery went well and the doctors thought after a time of recovery, John would be fine.  As the weeks and months went by, John was not getting stronger. Then, the doctors realized John was loosing heart function. John’s heart was wearing out and there was nothing else they could do except to keep John comfortable until the end.

After John’s death, I started to realize all the things God had done to prepare me for this new life. In that ten-year interval, God had inspired me to renew my teaching certificate so I could find employment, gave me a strong yearning to move back home, 750 miles away and worked on fears and self-esteem issues so I would be strong for my children and the challenges ahead. God had also given me scriptures and stories from different sources that spoke directly to my situation. I was amazed how God had connected all the dots for my future.

It’s been 20 years now. I have learned by trial and error and asking a lot of questions even if they were dumb. I talked to God about everything and he gave me insight. God gave me the hope to continue on when I wanted to give up. After 20 year, God has truly become my first love, my protector, and my friend.

Are you going through "pain-filled" times? Allow God strengthen your heart and fill you with His hope for a brighter tomorrow.

Answering the Call

I want you to think about evangelism in a different light today. Normally, we think of evangelism as going out into the world around us with the message of salvation by the cross of Jesus. However, I want to submit to you that evangelism/salvation can take place when we spread the love and encouragement of Christ as well. Evangelism is anything, which we can do that enables others to reach their full potential and bring total salvation and freedom to our fleshly souls.   

This past weekend I went to a writer’s conference with my friend, Jamie, who needed my set of eyes because hers have been blind since birth. Although, she can do all her computer work independently and has an excellent memory, she still needed help getting to class or an editor, and fixing her plate at mealtime. Jamie joked about her blindness so I joked back. At one point, Jamie started leading me because she walked faster then me!

After Saturday’s lunch, Jamie and I had some time alone. She requested my help with the discouragement she felt in her situation. She wanted to be reassured that God was with her. 

I told her about my own battle with discouragement and fear. Then, I wanted her to know that she was not “less than” because she was blind. She was deeply loved and highly favored by her Savior. God made her special and had a plan for her life in spite of what her present negative situation told her. Then later, after she arrived back home, discouragement wanted to return, I typed in Psalm 91 so she would be able to listen to it over and over again. I sensed she would need the reassurance that only God speaking through the scriptures could bring.

Later I got this email:

Hey precious friend,

I wanted to tell you thank you. This may seem strange, but before the weekend, I was praying and asking God if I could have some time together. And, obviously He answered that prayer. I loved the conference but I was at a place where I needed ministering to myself. I love the ministry God has given me, but I needed to not be the one ministering. And you sensed that I think. I needed to hear you say, "you're not less-than. That's the way I feel at times.  God really used you this weekend.

Love you, sweet friend! 

Jamie needs the help of others from time to time to get to where God has appointed her to be. I want Jamie to know, it was my privilege, pleasure and purpose to be of service to her as she seeks to do the will of the Father.

Are there people around you that God is beckoning you to approach and give of your time? People may need our help to advance to all that God has for them. The challenge may or may not be out of our comfort zone or take a lot of time, but the value of our generous encouragement and shared experience is priceless to the salvation of the soul on its way to full renewal.